Weekend

tapas.  sangria.  friends.  vida esta buena.

American Goods - Alternatively Titled - Long Live The Frosty

This is what happens when you work 12 hours a day in the Construction business in the Middle East & someone takes a trip to America:

From:  Thoms, Inc.
Sent: Tuesday, June 07, 2011 11:31 PM
To:  Burgett, LCC
Cc: KP of Thoms, Inc.
Subject: Procurement of American goods

To whom it may concern:


Care of Burgett LLC, please find attached documented evidence of the procurement of American Goods.

Sincerely,

Thoms, Inc.

From: Burgett, LCC
Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2011 7:13 AM
To: Thoms, Inc.
Cc: KP of Thoms, Inc.
Subject: RE: Procurement of American goods

On behalf of Burgett, LLC we express our approval at said procurement activities. The gatepost milestone dates have been accomplished at an earlier date than was scheduled and previously forecast, thusly qualifying Thoms Inc. for the performance incentive, to be further discussed upon return to jobsite and delivery and acceptance of material goods. Notwithstanding the prior Facebook message sent informing Thoms Inc. of a notice of change, Burgett LLC is quite grateful for the assistance of Thoms Inc. On behalf of our shareholders & the Client, Burgett LLC wishes Thoms Inc & all associated parties safe travels, good times, and implores them to enjoy America specifically: mountains, trees, weather below 100 degrees, Dr. Pepper, drivers whose intention is not to murder you with their vehicles, traffic laws, women in shorts & revealing clothing, people walking dogs, bacon, sausage, ham, absence of men in thobes, bars, dogs, dogs in bars, alcohol in restaurants, alcohol in grocery stores, liquor stores, and a democratically-elected government. And Wendy's - Long live the Frosty.

Dear Society - Here are Some Cliff Notes For You

1. It is NEVER acceptable to ask a woman if she is pregnant, unless the following is true:

• You are her husband and/or "partner" and you might have had an "accident" - and even then, fair warning: tread lightly.
• Your best friend unexpectedly stops agreeing to celebrate your friendship with adult libations when you get together (because obviously the only reason she would stop is if she was pregnant)
• You are a doctor/gyno and it is literally your job to ask the question

2.  It is NOT appropriate to tell a woman she has put on weight nor ask a woman if she has put on weight- even if she has clearly been having a love affair with deep fried chicken & chocolate bars and has put on 100 pounds...it is not acceptable AND there is no exception to this rule.

3. It is however, very encouraged to tell a woman that she looks like she has lost weight.

4.  It is not OK to ask a woman if she is on her period or make a smart comment about it being "her time of the month," excluding the following exceptions:

• You are her husband and/or "partner" and you want to get it on.   But at the same time it is NOT acceptable if you are asking because she is being "moody" or a "bitch" - in that case the only person you will be getting it on with is yourself
• Again, you are a doctor/gyno

5. It is also not acceptable to ask a married woman why she does not have kids

• nor follow up with telling her that she needs to hurry up and start popping out babies ASAP
• nor ask her how old she is

6. DO NOT ASK A WOMAN HOW OLD SHE IS

• note to the reader: notice the use of the word WOMAN...not girl - and if you can't tell the difference, well then you have got much bigger problems.

7. All of the above rules should be adhered to, especially in the work environment & when directing it to a female colleague or business associate that you only know on a professional basis.

• Furthermore, asking or saying any of the above at 7am, in 110 degree heat, on a construction site in the Middle East is HIGHLY DISCOURAGED - and you will have to suffer the consequences.

Kind Regards,

KP

P.S. - My job is awesome (cliff note to the cliff notes - this last comment was sarcastic)

Where in the World?

Dear internet,

Sorry I have not been *here* for the past 9+ months (what?!! seriously?!)... but I promise it was not because I stopped caring about you, it was because I just seriously lost track time...

Like for example, I went home to NJ and got seriously side track because I had to do this:

And also managed to squeeze in hosting one of these:

Because I am now an Auntie & (omg) there is another niece/nephew on the way!

Then we flitted off to here (paris, france):

and spent a little bit of romantic time here (corsica):

Also, we took a quick stop here during the Eid holiday (sri lanka):

We also celebrated this (qatar national day):

We then spent Christmas discovering an ancient city within the holy land (petra, jordan):

and taking a dip here on X-mas day (the dead sea):

So you see?!  And that only brings us to the end of 2010....  there are still a 6 additional months to account for!

Breaking the Silence

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@#%$$$$^&#**@&@^&^&@^&@^&*!&&&&*$*#%^&&$$$$$$$$$$





boo.

yes, i am alive...in case you were wondering. 

do i have anything nice/cool to say? negative.

why is that?  because since i returned from getting married way back in september my job has sucked the life force out of me.

literally.

Anyone have any bright ideas about what I could do for a living that would enable me to work/travel internationally, while taking home butt load of tax free money, without having to deal with complete assholes on an hourly basis??

Anyone? Buehler?

ok. enough negativity.  And now back to your regularly scheduled programming....