Adventures in Non-American Sports

Today during lunch I have been invited to play squash with a few of my British co-workers. 

First of all, my initial reaction was... "Squash?! Oh, you mean racquetball?"

[Side Note: Yes, I am from America and we play RACQUETBALL, not squash; BASEBALL, not cricket; and SOCCER, not football; and our FOOTBALL is played with padding, helmets, and an oblong ball. But that is a whole other discussion.]

So anyway, no, apparently they are two DIFFERENT sports because one uses a hard ball and the other a soft.  And it is called "Squash" as a reference to the "squashable" soft ball used to play it. (In case you were wondering, which you probably weren't)

My co-workers asked me if I've played/knew how to play...Of course I told them "Yes."   Actually it was more like, "Heck yeah!" with a fist pump.  But seriously, I have only played raqcuetball like once before, BUT I have researched squash on Wikipedia, so that counts, right?! RIGHT.

So here goes nothing...ugh, I am totally going to get my arse handed to me by a bunch of Brits and I am never going hear the end of it. Awesome. Stupid squash.

[Interesting tid-bit: Wikipedia mentions that squash has been recognized as the "world's heathliest sport."  WTF does that mean? Seriously, I would like to know.  And how exactly did they decide that?!]

a quick question about clashing...

Badgley Mischa stole my heart with these beauties. I have been coveting either pair as my wedding shoes like nobodies business...

The only problem is they are white and my dress is IVORY. Honestly, before I became a bride-to-be I had no clue the difference between the two; now let's just say, I have been educated.

So is it ok to pair white shoes with an ivory dress?  Or is it a total fashion crime?

melts my frozen, icy heart

Brody & Kenzie enjoying Blizzard 2010 in New Jersey.

Seriously, look at that face.... how does it not melt your heart?!

sos - send cupcakes

While in Dubai this past weekend, we stoped into Magnolia's Bakery (yes, THE Magnolia Bakery as in the NYC chain) in the Bloomingdales at the Dubai Mall.  Holy Cupcake, I was in HEAVEN.  Seriously. Maybe it is because my life has been devoid of quality baked goods containing *real* vanilla since relocating to Qatar or maybe it is because I am a chocolate fiend, but let me tell you this cupcake I had was good.  REAL.GOOD.  It was a melt-in-your-mouth convergence of moist cakey goodness and creamy dark chocolate decadence.  A true cupcake-gasm if you will.

That single cupcake has left me dreaming of cupcakes all week long.  I've become obsessed and drooling at my computer desk at pictures of all the cupcakes I can't have.  I have started to secretly make plans in my head to turn my kitchen into a cupcake factory so that I can have these delicious treats all the time.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to smuggle some vanilla extract over here...

Things I SHOULD Have Appreciated More

Living overseas in a Middle Eastern country is quite a unique (said with heavy undertones) experience.  In the spirit of sharing my unique experience I have created a "KP's Awesomely Under-Appreciated Things List" (AKA "KP's Bitch List") for you all to enjoy!

• Being able to wear tanktops and skirts/dresses with hems that are above the knee
• SNOW & skiing

• THREE.DAY.WEEKENDS every weekend - the work schedule on my last job was AWESOME
• TREES

• Roads without roundabouts - seriously, three to four lane roundabouts with traffic lights in them..WTF were they thinking?!

• Being able to buy VANILLA EXTRACT so that I can bake - Vanilla Essence (aka imitation vanilla) blows! Oh, extract is banned because it is made with Vodka, FYI
• Having more than 2 places in an entire city that are safe to run & being able to run outdoors without dying of heat stroke
• Tampax Pearls - just being able to buy tampons in general, they are wicked hard to find here

• ALCOHOL.  Being able to get it in restuarants that are NOT at a hotel, at the grocery store, and at the liquor store without needing a LICENSE to buy it!
• NY Pizza & NJ Bagels - mmmmmm Heaven

• Being able to get a straight answer from ANYBODY
• Blissfull silence at 4am - opposed to "Call to Prayer" being blasted over loud speaker
• Stores being open 24 hours and on Friday mornings and not being closed from 12-4:30 on weekdays
• American over-the-counter cold & illness products
• Decent drivers
• Internet that works ALL.THE.TIME

I think that is all for now. Maybe I can turn this into one of those Late-Nite show top 10 lists...paging Conan, I have a new job for you!

Quest for the Best: LBD

This past weekend I escaped with a girlfriend to Dubai for a weekend of marathon shopping, decadent dining, & cocktail consuming.  In short, it was fabulous.  Although I must be honest and say that shopping is not always fun & can be hard work especially since I was headed to Dubai with a mission:

Find the quintessential, perfect Little Black Dress.

You know what I am talking about ladies; not just any black dress, but  "The ONE."  Let me educate for a hot second...In life I believe there are three "The Ones"; your future spouse, your wedding dress (also known as "THE Dress"), and your little black dress.  The LBD is a woman's secret weapon.  Whenever there is an impromtu event it is her saving grace.  Or an event where she is unsure of the appropriate attire to don, her LBD is the solution.  It is the perfect "suit" for that work-related social function.  Ladies night out, date-night, get-a-date night, and all those other nights in between; the LBD is a gals-go-to, no fail, "I look f*cking fabulous" dress.  The PERFECT LBD hugs every single one of your curves in ALL the right places and hides your every flaw.  It's like photoshop, but in a dress.  Yes, that is the I what I set out to Dubai in seach of.

So off we went to the largest mall in the world with our best gamefaces on. (Side note - my girlfriend was on the hunt for "the Shoe" aka her wedding shoes..but that is another story)  In our quest no brand or designer was left un-turned; from Prada to Valentino, Zara to BCBG, Banana Repbulic to Forever 21.  If a store had a LBD, you best believe I tried it.
I wanted to be Audrey Hepburn a la Breakfast at Tiffany's but alas it seemed like too tall an order.

By the time it was 5pm we had gone into almost every designer, department (and in-between) store they had.  WE.WERE.EXHAUSTED.  There were several great dresses, but none that were JUST Right.  Some did not fit quite right, some were just plain ALL WRONG, others were not timeless enough, and some just did not have that ZA-ZA-ZING.  I thought all hope for this trip was lost.  That is until we came to one final store.  Karen Millen walked into my life for the first time and I could not be happier.  Before trying this dress on, we debated on it.  We thought it was not Audrey enough or maybe it looked a bit cougar-on-the-prowl.  But I decided to try it on anyway.  And I am SO glad I did.

It does not look like much from the picture, but that is the beauty of a LBD.  I put this baby on and I felt instantly transformed.  Like I was Angelina Jolie in Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

Like I could be a sexy, gun-slinging, secret agent.  Or a sophisticated-glamazon like Audrey Hepburn.  I felt instantly confident, sexy, and fabulous.  We had found "THE ONE".

Mission Accomplished.

dreaming of snow...

All you folks back in the states have had the good fortune (or displeasure so it seems per many blogs I've been stalking recently) of experiencing "Snowpocalypse 2010".  Let me tell you, I am jealous!  Snow is an unheard of, never been seen before, fairytale kind of thing to those of us living in the hot hell hole that is the Middle East (edit: actually the weather is flippin LOVELY right now, perfect for poolside lounging..minus the occasional sandstorm).  But not to worry... I will be reunited with the white heavenly goodness that is snow in about 2 weeks time.  Also, at the same time I will be fullfilling one of my "long-term goals": ski the Alps.  In the words of my guilty pleasure hero Perez Hilton... its going to be "amazeballs".

Hopefully it will look something like this when I go:

Chances are I will end up looking something more like this:

But either way, it should be sweet.  We are headed to a place called St. Anton in Austria and are staying in this little family run B&B:

Oh man, I am getting snow-fever just thinking about it.  Anyway, that is pretty much all of the big news for right now.  I have lots of other stuff to re-cap on, but our internet in our accomodations does not quite work and I have been unable to upload recent photos to the internet to share. (Also have not quite been able to call home either because of it.. Hi Mom & Dad!)  But I will just give you a quick mini-highlight right now:

• Travelled to St. Thomas to celebrate Christmas at my brother's place with the family.
• Ran (& completed) the Dubai Marathon on January 22nd in 5 hours and 15 seconds.
• Vowed to NEVER run another marathon ever again.
• Changed my mind and vowed to run the NYC marathon before I turn 30.
• Visited the tallest building in the world, the Burj in Dubai and am headed back there this weekend for a "ladies shopping getaway"
• Rode in part of the final stage of Le Tour de Qatar and got the chance to meet a bunch of the pro-cylcists.  One of the guys from Team Livestrong (Ben King..also the blog writer for the Teams webpage) was a fellow Hokie!! Go VT.
• Finally picked out our "save-the-dates" and got the wheels in motion on that.
• Found out my brother and my beautiful sister-in-law are going to have their first baby!!
• Promptly decided I am going to be the most awesome aunt ever and I am going to buy that child all sorts of wonderfully LOUD and annoying toys to play with (that is sisterly love right there!)

That's about it for now.

Ciao friends!

Victory & The Quirks of Being an American Expat

PICTURE FROM ESPN.COM

- THE YANKEES - WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS -

Being born and raised in NJ, just a mere 20 minutes or 2 hours in traffic from NYC & the empire that is Yankee Stadium; it is my birth-rite to be a fan.   That being said, of course I want to celebrate and talk about how awesome it is that they won the World Series. 

But PROBLEM...I am not currently residing in the good ole US of A.

So none of my coworkers understand when I tell them the extraordinary news.  Instead they persist on asking me:

"How can it be the WORLD Series, if no other countries in the WORLD play?" (said in a smarmy British accent)

Sheesh!  Where is an American when I need one?!  Even my fiance' is of no help because his birth-rite happens to be an allegiance for that other team who didn't even make it to the World Series  the Boston Red Sox.

I tried to explain to them that the sun actually orbits around Yankee Stadium and not the earth round the sun as previously believed.  They didn't get the joke.

Then I tried to explain to my wonderful British coworkers that this it is sort of like when Manchestor United wins the Champions League.  The response:

"Yes, but how can it be the WORLD Series?"  AGAIN.

Followed by some rumblings about Cricket being a "proper game".  Oh yes and it started a rousing conversation about American football and how it is lesser than Rugby and something about how it is not played with the feet so it should not be called football. 

Technicalities, I say to it all.  GO YANKEES.

DID YOU KNOW - *aka Random Thoughts/Facts from the Middle East

Did you know:

• that alarm clocks are unnecessary here?  The 4 am call to prayer blasting from the speakers of every mosque in the city each morning is 100% more effective in waking you up than any screeching buzzer will ever be.

• that there is a turn on switch for absolutely everything? Not just for turning on lights, but a switch to turn on the water, another to turn on the hot water, one to turn the ignition to the stove, and there is even one on every single outlet.  Also, that there is no such thing as having an electrical outlet in the bathroom!?  Want to shave, curl your hair, or use an electric toothbrush?  Forget it!  But each bathroom does come equipped with a bidet and a foot wash just in case you were feeling in need of a quick clean.

• that in order to get your driver's license in Qatar you have to pass an eye exam where they make you read a row of letters in the tiniest size possible?  But the truth of the matter is that they should really test how well you can see the giant Land Cruisers that are constantly about to run you over.

• that running outside in temperatures of 30-35 degrees centigrade at 80-90% humidity is really, really hard? Oh yes, and this is at night!  Also, that the writer of this blog has foolishly signed up to run in the Dubai marathon on January 22nd and consequently has to run almost every day in that heat by choice?  And furthermore, that the driving in this city is too dangerous for running on or along the streets and that there are hardly any parks so there is really only one safe place to run?  It is a 6 kilometer long crowded path along the ocean where all you can do is run back and forth until you hit the distance you want to run.

• that maps are rendered useless because the roads are constantly changing due to the fact that the ENTIRE city is one MASSIVE construction site?

• that they pretty much don’t sell tampons here? I had to go to three stores before I found a place that sold them. They are OB without an applicator and I am not happy about it. I should have known better and bought like a years supply of Tampax Pearls before I left. God you know it is bad when you miss your tampons.

• that the have more shopping and more malls than the whole world could possibly need?  Also that one of the malls is modeled after the city of Venice and has a canal throughout it with boats you can ride in? (promise to post pictures soon)  Side note: all the Qatari women carry the most ludicriously expensive handbags I have ever seen.  Talk about purse envy; this girl has got a bad case.  These bags make my Coach and Marc Jacobs look cheap!

• that truly it is NOT terrible living here? It is just a bit ridiculous/comical at times.

Super Suit

Big Alaskan glacier:

Check.

Beers cooled by glacial ice:

Check.

Successful field testing in wild Alaskan wilderness of sick super suit:

Check. Check.

Super sick super suit is too hot for near-arctic Alaskan wilderness conditions:

Check. Awesome.