CAUGHT!

Today at work the paparazzi caught me on camera....

Bet you didn't know that my job required fall protection and a hard hat some days, huh?

 

iWedding

I had yet ANOTHER frustrating wedding dream last night.  I am quite sure my subconscious is trying to tell me something...and that message is "iPhones are evil". (Say what?!?) 

You are probably thinking: "What on earth does an iPhone have to do with a wedding?!?"

According to my dreams, apparently A LOT. 

Which is weird because I don't even own an iPhone...

but in my dreams I do and it causes me nothing but trouble.

I am either getting bad news called to me on it or I can't get in contact with/lost the number of a vendor/bridesmaid/future husband.  In one dream I had all the music for the wedding saved on the iPhone and somehow it all got erased and replaced with a track of Halloween sound effects (random, I know). 

Well, last night I dreamt that it was an hour before the walk down the aisle and my hairstylist was MIA.   Frantically, I am trying to get in contact with her, but my evil iPhone would not let me access her number.  I kept scrolling through my contacts and it would just keep scrolling right past her name and not stop. I would get extremely close, but not close enough to click on her name and call her.  I tried looking her up on the mobile internet, but the server was not working.  So then finally, I decided to ride my bike (in my wedding dress of course) over to her house.  Once I get there we settle everything and I sit down in a chair and she asks me how I want my hair done.  I am all, "I have pictures saved on my iPhone that I can show you!  I want my hair exactly like this one picture I have! It's going to be soooo awesome!"  And, the evil iPhone strikes again...it won't let me find the iPhoto app.  I keep sorting through the screen with all the apps and I just can't find it.  When I finally do find it, I keep hitting the wrong button...like I just can't quite seem to hit the screen in the right location to open it.  But none-the-less, my wedding is quickly approaching and I keep trying until after what feels like an eternity I lose all of my patience, throw the phone on the floor, and stomp on it until it breaks into a million tiny pieces.  At this point I woke up sweating and to my alarm clock blaring.  All I could think at that moment was "I am NEVER buying an iPhone!" Haha, seriously.

I have no idea why the iPhone is a reoccuring demon in my dreams.  I understand why I may be having dreams about things going wrong with my upcoming wedding...but I really just want to know, "why iPhone, why must you torment me so?!"

On a side note: Are there any other brides-to-be or newlyweds out there that have experienced wedding nightmares?  Or is it just me (crazy KP with her overly active imagination)?

I wonder where this cupcake came from??

I was reading one of my fav blogs cakespy.com and came across this picture:

Do you see the AWESOME t-shirt the girl on the right is wearing?!

The unicorn is pooping CUPCAKES!!!

It's absolutely brillant.  I.DESPERATELY.NEED.ONE.

So I googled "unicorn pooping cupakes" (had a good snigger about typing that into my browser) and found that they were selling this shirt:

at Hot Topic.  Not exactly the same, but equally hilarious and awesome.

In my search I also came across these two other gems:

(Yes, I am aware that I am too easily amused.)

Seriously, I was so excited about these pictures that I was INSPIRED to create my own!

Which then turned into this:

hahaha. Unicorns pooping cupcakes, love it!

An E-mail from my Future Husband

I get to work this morning and open up my e-mail to discover the following message from the fiance':

From: The Future Husband
Sent: Tuesday, April 13, 2010 6:01 PM
To: KP
Subject: FW: Classes for Women

I found these great courses on-line and I really think you could benefit from taking a few of them!  See class descriptions below:

Classes for Women
at

THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED

By Friday, DECEMBER 30, 2010

NOTE: DUE TO THEIR COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL, CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1

Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat, Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs, beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?

Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00PM for 2 hours.

Class 3

Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping? -- Group Debate.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 AM for 2 hours.

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase -- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5

Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet? Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6

How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program--Help Line Support

and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?

Open Forum.

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours..

Class 8

Health Watch -- They Make Medicine for PMS -

USE IT!

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

I Was Wrong and He Was Right--Real Life Testimonials!

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined..

Class 10

How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.

Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12

How to Shop by Yourself.

Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Real funny, Future Hubs, real funny.  Of course, I had to write back.  So I countered with this:

To: The Future Husband

Sent: Wednesday, April 14, 2010 7:30 AM

From: KP

Subject: RE: FW: Classes for Women

Babe,

It was so thoughtful of you to find those classes for me!  I really appreciate it.  In the spirit of "continued education" I went through the effort of finding a couple of courses for you to enjoy, too!

Here is a short review:

Classes for Men


at
THE BOYSCOUTS OF AMERICA LEARNING LODGE
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Friday, DECEMBER 30, 2010
NOTE: DUE TO THEIR COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL, CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED TO 4 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
Up Before, Down After - How to Properly Operate the Toilet Seat, Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs, beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
Which Takes More Energy – Doing What You’re Asked To Do Now, or Being Bitched At About It for 3+ Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00PM for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past an Expensive, Fast Car Without Drooling like a Fool? -- Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 AM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Real Sports Team and Your Fantasy One -- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dirty Clothes – A Miracle Journey from Where You Left Them on the Floor to Their Magical Clean Return to the Closet: Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Learning How to Listen: With Empathy and Like You Care--Help Line Support
and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Do You Really Need to “Adjust Yourself” That Often?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours..
Class 8
Health Watch -- There Is Soap in the Restroom -
USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
I Am Wrong and She Is ALWAYS Right--Real Life Testimonials!
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined..
Class 10
You are Not Jeff Gordon – Learning to Obey the Speed Limit.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Dishes – They Are Not Going To Wash Themselves
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to Be the Perfect Shopping Companion – Bag Holding 101
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Upon completion of all of the above courses, your balls will be returned & diplomas will be issued.

Point, KP.

Tricked, Fooled, Conned ... A Sports Story

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I got tricked into running a marathon?


Yes, that is right; I was fooled into completeing 26.4 miles of self-inflicted physical and mental abuse.


I am pretty sure I have mentioned I ran the Dubai Marathon in January, but what I failed to explain was how this feat ended up being added to my list of "Life Achievements". (And yes, I have contemplated puting my marathon victory on my resume under "skills", haha)


Clearly, I got tricked into this because no one in their right mind decides to train for a marathon only 13 weeks before it (with Christmas & New Years falling square in the middle), in the HOT Middle Eastern desert, in a city that only has 2 safe places to run long distances.  But alas, I am a sucker and a fool.

It all started with an e-mail suggesting that it would be fun to go over to Dubai for a weekend getaway and while we were there run the 10K race that was being held in conjuction to the marathon.  Somehow this fun suggestion snowballed into a "who is the bigger idiot man" competition where 20 of my coworkers (including the fiance' and myself) were peer-pressured into running the marathon.  We even paid 80 USD for the awesome pleasure of torturing ourselves.

To be honest, the idea of running and training for a marathon did not seem *too bad* when supposedly 20 other people would be there to support you through the duration of training and during the actual race.  However, as the weeks went by more and more people hung up their running shoes.  By the time race day came only 4 (myself and the fiance' included) of us actually made it to the starting line and only 3 crossed the finish. 

And let me tell you...running a marathon is no joke.  I mean you hear the word marathon and you think "yeah, that sounds tough," but really you have NO IDEA until you actually run one.  Of course, I was completely fooled & under prepared.  I ran the first half of the marathon in 2 hours (a decent pace) and was having a good time.  It felt pretty good and I was enjoying seeing Dubai for the first time.  The problem is, in my limited amount of training, I never ran more than half a marathon distance. BIG MISTAKE.  I had no flipping clue what I was up against because the second half of the marathon was not only hard, but it was HOT (we are talking nearly 100 degrees).  So hot that I was pouring an entire bottle of water over myself at every 1.5 mile water station.  And the last 6 miles were BRUTAL.  I was on the verge of emotional hysteria by the time I reached the finish; bursting into full on tears as I crossed because I seriously did not think I was going to make it.  Afterwards I vowed that I would NEVER run another marathon again.  Been.There.Done.That.

Here I am in all my marathoning glory (totally beating the cr*p out of that fit looking dude)

But here is the awful truth: the further I get away from the experience, the more I find myself contemplating attempting another one or maybe something more....  I keep thinking, "I could have run that faster" or "I can do it without crying".  And there I go now fooling myself into more physical punishment.  Which, the point to my story being I have now been CONNED, yes, conned into completing a HALF IRONMAN.

WTF, KP!?!?

I know guys! I know.  But it's not my fault!  I swear. (ok, maybe a little bit my fault)  So basically, after recovering from the marathon I have been thinking all sorts of crazy things.  For some reason I now believe I am part super-human, perhaps?  I don't know.  But what I do know is that I have this super cool cycling friend (who the fiance' picked up for me one night - that is another story though) M from Australia who is super awesome and also a triathlete and she convinced me that I can be one too.  I currently cycle between 50-80 miles a week (if not more), I have got the running thing down (thank you marathon)and I used to swim competitively in High School - so I figured I could definitely do a Sprint triathlon (750 m swim, 20 km bike, 5 km run) or with a bit training an Olympic triathlon (1.5 km swim, 40 km ride, 10 km run) no sweat.  But she flipping signed me up for a Half Ironman (1.9 km swim, 90 km ride, 21.1 km run aka The Long Course)! See?? I totally got conned!

So here I go again - signing up for more self inflicted physical and mental abuse.  Seriously, I should probably get my head checked.

instead

i was supposed to go to the gym tonight after work.

instead i am at home eating chicken tacos and watching 90210.

i probably should be feeling guilty about skipping my workout,

but these tacos are damn good.

so it is hard to feel guilt; instead I feel this:

90210 + tacos > healthy lifestyle choices

and this

90210 + tacos = win * awesome

KP at Work - A Self Portrait

This was how I felt at work this morning... note the puddle of drool.

Subliminal Message..You Want Blueberry Muffins

The other day the grocery store had fresh/good looking blueberries; which is a rare for us here in the Giant Sandbox.  So of course, it was blueberry muffin time.

And, um yeah, I totally documented the event because I am an evil bitch and want you to crave baked goods as much as I do. So sit back and enjoy...

Are you craving blueberry muffins yet?!

Confession

I spent most of this morning prior to work and today at lunch look at PORN.

Ahem, porn of the shoe variety, that is.

Have you been to Zappos??  It is literally a shoe-addicts heaven.  You can browse thousands of shoes in just a few clicks and sort them all by type, color, brand, heel height, etc.  Then once you have found a pair (or 20) that suits your fancy, you can look at in high definition from 7 different angles and zoomed in.  Seriously, I am telling you; it's shoe porn.

And yes, I DO need to see the shoes from ALL 7 angles and the zoomed in close up shot!  That is the BEST feature of the site in my opinion.  I can't tell you how frustrating it is to be shopping online and not get to see a good view of a product from multiple angles.  Especially when it comes to shoes!  (Can I get a "Hell Yes!"?) I also like when websites give you suggestions of other shoes or items you might like based on the ones you are looking at...and I am like a moth to a flame...or a fat kid to a cookie jar (yeah I am definitely most like the fat kid to the cookie jar)...I am addicted and am continually finding the next swoon-worthy pair of shoes I wish I owned. (Meanwhile the fiance is having a minor heart attack at the thought)

And since I am such a good blog friend, I am going to share some of my porn with you (because really, that is what friends do!):

I am totally loving the thick, around-the-ankle-strap right now and I am in search of the perfect pair to add to my closet. Also, if you can't tell I am still floundering over the whole wedding shoe thing.  My heart aches for those Badgley Mischka's, but I have decided I don't want to do white with ivory.  I am toying around with other options of gold or silver...but I am not entirely sold on the idea.  I also found these Martino Valero petal sandals that have stolen my heart a bit too.  The thing is, I am having an outdoor wedding so heels are not the best choice of footwear...but I simply cannot find a pair of wedges or flat sandals that have the same kind of whimsy or romance as the Badgley's or the Valeros.  I found these other sandals on Style Me Pretty, but they are gold...and again, not sure I am sold on the idea. 

I am secretly hoping for a fairy godmother to appear and bestow upon me my "glass slipper", aka my perfect wedding shoe.  But until then, I will just be stuck sorting through endless amounts of shoe-porn.  It's a tough job, but someone has got to do it ;-)

Shamal of Doha

Ok so I have to admit; I have been here for nearly six months and had yet to travel outside of Doha city limits.  (I know, bad KP!!) This past weekend we decided to remedy that situation and take a mini-road/bike trip up to the Northern tip of Qatar.  First we started the day with a 70km (about 44 miles) cycle up to Al Khor and back (see the blue line on below map); another place I had never been.  It was a great ride and we saw a heard of about 30 camels grazing in the desert...um, well I actually missed seeing them on the way up to Al Khor because I was heavily engrossed in a political debate with a Brit who was on our bike ride. Oppsss.

After recovering from our morning ride, we grabbed some lunch and headed out on our journey up Al Shamal Road (see the red line).  Shamal is the Arabic word for "North" although prior to taking this little jaunt we thought it meant "Sandstorm" for some unknown reason, aka we thought we were taking a voyage up "Sandstorm Road".  Sounds way cooler, right?!

Now, I bet you are wondering, "KP, so what is Shamal (North) of Doha??!!"

Well, let me tell you!

A WHOLE LOT OF ABSOLUTELY, FLIPPING NOTHING.

SERIOUSLY.

We drove for almost 2 hours straight through endless stretches of desert with random spots of palm trees and shrubbery scattered about and finally reached the coast.  The tide was so far out that we could hardly see the ocean from the shoreline...all we could see was sandy muck and stranded wooden boats waiting for the tide to come back in. 

Oh yeah, we may have seen some goats:

And we may have also found a little park.  Which was extremely strange because it was seriously in the middle of nowhere.

We might of done a bit of recreational activity in said park...because we have the combined maturity of a 12 year old

We also may have found some ruins of an old deserted city:

and might have explored a fort from the 1800s...

And of course,  we just might have hung out with some camels on the way back:

Ok, so maybe there is not absolutely nothing North of Doha... but lets just say it is not very likely we will be making another trip up that way any time soon...cough*EVER*cough