An E-mail from my Future Husband

I get to work this morning and open up my e-mail to discover the following message from the fiance':

From: The Future Husband
Sent: Tuesday, April 13, 2010 6:01 PM
To: KP
Subject: FW: Classes for Women

I found these great courses on-line and I really think you could benefit from taking a few of them!  See class descriptions below:

Classes for Women
at

THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED

By Friday, DECEMBER 30, 2010

NOTE: DUE TO THEIR COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL, CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1

Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat, Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs, beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?

Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00PM for 2 hours.

Class 3

Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping? -- Group Debate.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 AM for 2 hours.

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase -- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5

Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet? Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6

How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program--Help Line Support

and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?

Open Forum.

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours..

Class 8

Health Watch -- They Make Medicine for PMS -

USE IT!

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

I Was Wrong and He Was Right--Real Life Testimonials!

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined..

Class 10

How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.

Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12

How to Shop by Yourself.

Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Real funny, Future Hubs, real funny.  Of course, I had to write back.  So I countered with this:

To: The Future Husband

Sent: Wednesday, April 14, 2010 7:30 AM

From: KP

Subject: RE: FW: Classes for Women

Babe,

It was so thoughtful of you to find those classes for me!  I really appreciate it.  In the spirit of "continued education" I went through the effort of finding a couple of courses for you to enjoy, too!

Here is a short review:

Classes for Men


at
THE BOYSCOUTS OF AMERICA LEARNING LODGE
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Friday, DECEMBER 30, 2010
NOTE: DUE TO THEIR COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL, CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED TO 4 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
Up Before, Down After - How to Properly Operate the Toilet Seat, Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs, beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
Which Takes More Energy – Doing What You’re Asked To Do Now, or Being Bitched At About It for 3+ Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00PM for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past an Expensive, Fast Car Without Drooling like a Fool? -- Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 AM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Real Sports Team and Your Fantasy One -- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dirty Clothes – A Miracle Journey from Where You Left Them on the Floor to Their Magical Clean Return to the Closet: Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Learning How to Listen: With Empathy and Like You Care--Help Line Support
and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Do You Really Need to “Adjust Yourself” That Often?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours..
Class 8
Health Watch -- There Is Soap in the Restroom -
USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
I Am Wrong and She Is ALWAYS Right--Real Life Testimonials!
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined..
Class 10
You are Not Jeff Gordon – Learning to Obey the Speed Limit.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Dishes – They Are Not Going To Wash Themselves
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to Be the Perfect Shopping Companion – Bag Holding 101
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Upon completion of all of the above courses, your balls will be returned & diplomas will be issued.

Point, KP.