Smiling From Within

I think that often when we smile and are happy it is merely on the surface. Our smiles may be true, but the energy comes from our faces. Truth be told, I spend most of my days with this type of smile parked firmly on my face. Now, this is not to say that I am not happy or I fake happiness all the time…but it is more of a realization that only every so often I am blessed with the other kind of smile, the one that comes from deep inside.
Yesterday, I caught up on g-chat with an old friend who I haven’t “talked” to in awhile. I was so happy to hear from her that as I sat at my computer, alone in my living room, I began to smile.

And it was such a special smile.

I felt it literally radiated from my soul, onto my face, and out into the world for all to share. At that moment my inner happiness was practically tangible and it generated a warmth that I could feel within my bones. I thought to myself, “Man, it has been awhile since I smiled this genuinely. Why is that?”

And then it hit me:

I hardly ever let myself just be happy. I don’t let myself live in the now.

Constantly, I find myself fixating on things in the past or focusing on what may happen in the future. I get so caught up in my job, to-do lists, life’s stresses, etc. that I don’t ever let myself relax enough to enjoy the little things that make everyday special and worth it. Like the good morning kisses from my sweet soon-to-be husband, the colleagues who make me laugh at work, a nice facebook message from a friend, or just how good that piece of dove chocolate tastes.

If I let go a little and live in the moment, then perhaps I will have more genuine smiles. So when I spill my lunch on the floor, instead of getting mad or upset about it, I can just laugh at my clumsiness. Or when the future hubs leaves the toilet seat up (yet again), I can just sigh, “oh, Men!” and put the seat down without getting mad (and politely remind the future hubs about putting it down later on).  I know this is probably true because today I still feel the residual warmth and happiness of yesterday's smile.

So here goes nothing - let us live in the moment! (she says with a smile)